Sunday, November 28, 2004
Once again, Ralph has proven himself to be the voice of my thoughts.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Happy Thanksgiving!
I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday. I know I did.
We went to my aunt's new house today. It really is quite nice. Saturday I get to go have Thanksgiving with Andrea's family.
I really don't know where November went. It seems like October actually lasted the right amount of time, and then I blinked on Election Day and when my eyes opened it was Thanksgiving. Wow.
I do have a lot to be thankful for this year, though... Even though there have been some hard times in my family, for once I personally have had a very good year. I started going out with Andrea, I got a new boss, and then I got a new advisor who will be helping me to graduate on time. I feel more confident and happy than I have since I was 10.
Still can't wait for my birthday, though. My favorite month of the year is less than a week away.
Happy holidays, everyone!
We went to my aunt's new house today. It really is quite nice. Saturday I get to go have Thanksgiving with Andrea's family.
I really don't know where November went. It seems like October actually lasted the right amount of time, and then I blinked on Election Day and when my eyes opened it was Thanksgiving. Wow.
I do have a lot to be thankful for this year, though... Even though there have been some hard times in my family, for once I personally have had a very good year. I started going out with Andrea, I got a new boss, and then I got a new advisor who will be helping me to graduate on time. I feel more confident and happy than I have since I was 10.
Still can't wait for my birthday, though. My favorite month of the year is less than a week away.
Happy holidays, everyone!
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Financial Future
Well, I did three things I've been putting off for a long time today... well, just now, in fact.
First, I registered with Sharebuilder.com. I was hesitant to do this because I didn't want to give them my SSN. Apparently dad does it, though, and Matt tells me that it's secured by the SEC. Also, I didn't really have the capital to start investing. However, I told mom of my desire and she decided to give me $120 as an early Christmas/Birthday present for just this purpose. I was quite thankful.
Next, I verfied my PayPal account and registered as a seller on eBay. Both of these I was avoiding because I didn't want to give either of them a checking account number. Dad and I had a long conversation Thursday about how safe financial sites are, though, and now I feel pretty safe about all of it. Hopefully I will start making some money soon.
This weekend was good. I spent a lot of time with Andrea on Friday and feel pretty comfortable with things now. We then saw each other on Saturday at Ralph's to work on his office, though we didn't get much done. Today I did a lot of computer maintenance. I had installed AOL 9.0: Security Edition on Thursday night, and it meant that I got a free subscription to McAfee VirusScan. Finally, AOL gives me something nobody else does. So I got that all set up today and ran the 4-hour virus scan on my computer, which made me realize I had to clean up a LOT of files.
As of yesterday, Andrea and I have known each other for one year. I would contend that we've known each other longer, but she's actually remembered me for a year now. I can't believe that, it seems like the DDR tournament was just days ago. Where does the time go?
Hope everyone has a wonderful, short week.
First, I registered with Sharebuilder.com. I was hesitant to do this because I didn't want to give them my SSN. Apparently dad does it, though, and Matt tells me that it's secured by the SEC. Also, I didn't really have the capital to start investing. However, I told mom of my desire and she decided to give me $120 as an early Christmas/Birthday present for just this purpose. I was quite thankful.
Next, I verfied my PayPal account and registered as a seller on eBay. Both of these I was avoiding because I didn't want to give either of them a checking account number. Dad and I had a long conversation Thursday about how safe financial sites are, though, and now I feel pretty safe about all of it. Hopefully I will start making some money soon.
This weekend was good. I spent a lot of time with Andrea on Friday and feel pretty comfortable with things now. We then saw each other on Saturday at Ralph's to work on his office, though we didn't get much done. Today I did a lot of computer maintenance. I had installed AOL 9.0: Security Edition on Thursday night, and it meant that I got a free subscription to McAfee VirusScan. Finally, AOL gives me something nobody else does. So I got that all set up today and ran the 4-hour virus scan on my computer, which made me realize I had to clean up a LOT of files.
As of yesterday, Andrea and I have known each other for one year. I would contend that we've known each other longer, but she's actually remembered me for a year now. I can't believe that, it seems like the DDR tournament was just days ago. Where does the time go?
Hope everyone has a wonderful, short week.
Friday, November 19, 2004
Now, with more salt!
Yes, I've changed the site design, though only slightly.
I was getting sick of having nothing but text everywhere. My initial vision was to have a green-to-black gradient running along the top and down the sidebar, but that did not happen. Oh well...
Instead I added these pictures, which have NOT been color altered. They are pictures taken of our sun, in the 195 nanometer UV emission spectrum. I think they look freakin' awesome, but that's just me.
The Views page is coming. Really.
I was getting sick of having nothing but text everywhere. My initial vision was to have a green-to-black gradient running along the top and down the sidebar, but that did not happen. Oh well...
Instead I added these pictures, which have NOT been color altered. They are pictures taken of our sun, in the 195 nanometer UV emission spectrum. I think they look freakin' awesome, but that's just me.
The Views page is coming. Really.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Accepting All Mail
If there's anything anyone ever wanted to say to me or ask me, I suggest you email me by the end of the day. I will do my best to respond.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Restructuring
Yassir Arafat died today. I don't know if that's how you spell it or not, but I wonder what that will mean for the middle east? Probably nothing good.
Anyway, I've had a lot of shit to do this week. In fact, I should be working on a Formal Lab Report right now, but it's not due until Friday so I've been putting it off. There is a lot of other stuff to do tonight anyway, now that I realize it is Wednesday and not Thursday. I am so messed up this week.
I installed both FireFox 1.0 and Opera on my computer. My site displays just fine in both of them. I am also in the process of running Office Update after just running Windows update. Plus, I installed a wireless keyboard/mouse combo on my desktop. It was supposed to go on the computer downstairs, but I got sick of my tracball. Tonight is a computer maintenance sort of night for me. Maybe I'll organize files, too.
Today in Office class the teacher asked, "does anyone need help getting to this point?" The point she was at was opening Access. Yes, just opening the program. That class makes me feel really, really stupid.
Anyway, it looks like I will have to take 18 credits next semester. Well, I don't have to, but it looks like I will either have to do it this spring or spring 06, and I'd rather get it out of the way. This is mainly because I want to take to opportunity to have Senior Seminar with my advisor, Bob.
So yeah, that time thing I have very little of now? Say goodbye to the rest of it.
Anyway, I've had a lot of shit to do this week. In fact, I should be working on a Formal Lab Report right now, but it's not due until Friday so I've been putting it off. There is a lot of other stuff to do tonight anyway, now that I realize it is Wednesday and not Thursday. I am so messed up this week.
I installed both FireFox 1.0 and Opera on my computer. My site displays just fine in both of them. I am also in the process of running Office Update after just running Windows update. Plus, I installed a wireless keyboard/mouse combo on my desktop. It was supposed to go on the computer downstairs, but I got sick of my tracball. Tonight is a computer maintenance sort of night for me. Maybe I'll organize files, too.
Today in Office class the teacher asked, "does anyone need help getting to this point?" The point she was at was opening Access. Yes, just opening the program. That class makes me feel really, really stupid.
Anyway, it looks like I will have to take 18 credits next semester. Well, I don't have to, but it looks like I will either have to do it this spring or spring 06, and I'd rather get it out of the way. This is mainly because I want to take to opportunity to have Senior Seminar with my advisor, Bob.
So yeah, that time thing I have very little of now? Say goodbye to the rest of it.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Well, after two completely seperate repairs over the course of two weeks, it has cost $1200 to fix my car. That is not good, as it all went on my credit card. Still wondering how the entire steering system went out on me.
Anyway, in regards to this election argument: It was a 5 minute thing. I heard, standing at a urinal, from a person I barely know, that Kerry had conceded. I didn't want to believe it, but I did (CNN later confirmed it) I felt the most depressive moment I had felt in four years. It was like AJ ending things without starting, Nicole converting, and Aaron dying all within the same 300 seconds. Here is why.
I didn't believe I would be able to make it four more years, as I could barely tolerate the last four. As strongly as my Christian friends believe that Jesus is their savior, I believe that G.W. Bush will be the downfall of America. Even his own father has spoken out against his foreign policy, and now experts are saying that IRAN IS DEVELOPING NUCLEAR WEAPONS. If we take it upon ourselves to go after Iran AGAIN, the world will not survive. The only thing that makes me feel better is that second terms almost never go well for the President.
The feeling actually passed when my very close gay friend Dwayne who would like to get married some day entered the room and declared his intentions to move to England because of this. It was then that I realized I was not alone. I went to the coffee shop, where the art majors were depressed and the science majors were downright pissed. The feeling passed.
It NEVER had anything to do with Andrea. The second I heard that I was blinded with rage. My eyes felt like they were literally boiling. I could not stand for that. Andrea and I have been bickering a bit lately, yes, but she has never caused my depression. EVER. Please NEVER make that accusation of her again, or I will not be so calm about it next time.
I walked away so as not to make things worse than they have already gotten. And I do agree with Andrea's mother that depression is just always there, but needs a trigger. This triggered me. And whether you think it's stupid or not, I don't. You can think I'm stupid for it if you want, but don't Igive a shit.
Yes, blogging is voicing my opinion. But I hold back. Sweet CRAP do I hold back. If you've heard Ralph talk, you've heard me think.
But hey, I shouldn't be SO negative. Russ Feingold and Barok Obama won their senate seats, and stem cell research passed in California. Those are two things I'm quite happy about.
But it's over now, and like him or not, I have to deal with him. So perhaps its best that we go the way we did with religion and realize that we will never be able to sway each other on the topic in question, in this case politics.
Anyway, in regards to this election argument: It was a 5 minute thing. I heard, standing at a urinal, from a person I barely know, that Kerry had conceded. I didn't want to believe it, but I did (CNN later confirmed it) I felt the most depressive moment I had felt in four years. It was like AJ ending things without starting, Nicole converting, and Aaron dying all within the same 300 seconds. Here is why.
I didn't believe I would be able to make it four more years, as I could barely tolerate the last four. As strongly as my Christian friends believe that Jesus is their savior, I believe that G.W. Bush will be the downfall of America. Even his own father has spoken out against his foreign policy, and now experts are saying that IRAN IS DEVELOPING NUCLEAR WEAPONS. If we take it upon ourselves to go after Iran AGAIN, the world will not survive. The only thing that makes me feel better is that second terms almost never go well for the President.
The feeling actually passed when my very close gay friend Dwayne who would like to get married some day entered the room and declared his intentions to move to England because of this. It was then that I realized I was not alone. I went to the coffee shop, where the art majors were depressed and the science majors were downright pissed. The feeling passed.
It NEVER had anything to do with Andrea. The second I heard that I was blinded with rage. My eyes felt like they were literally boiling. I could not stand for that. Andrea and I have been bickering a bit lately, yes, but she has never caused my depression. EVER. Please NEVER make that accusation of her again, or I will not be so calm about it next time.
I walked away so as not to make things worse than they have already gotten. And I do agree with Andrea's mother that depression is just always there, but needs a trigger. This triggered me. And whether you think it's stupid or not, I don't. You can think I'm stupid for it if you want, but don't Igive a shit.
Yes, blogging is voicing my opinion. But I hold back. Sweet CRAP do I hold back. If you've heard Ralph talk, you've heard me think.
But hey, I shouldn't be SO negative. Russ Feingold and Barok Obama won their senate seats, and stem cell research passed in California. Those are two things I'm quite happy about.
But it's over now, and like him or not, I have to deal with him. So perhaps its best that we go the way we did with religion and realize that we will never be able to sway each other on the topic in question, in this case politics.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Kerry Weakened
Why would you concede at 10 AM when the provisionals hadn't even been COUNTED yet? Especially after you made your VP candidate come on TV at 3 AM EST and say you would not concede.
Also a week ago bin Laden claimed that he DID in fact order the 9/11 attacks, and that he wanted Kerry to win so America would become "less evil." He said if Bush won, that the Arab nations would be more pissed than EVER that the greedy American citizens would allow the Bush dictatorial regime to continue (although I congratulate Mr. Bush on winning his first Presidential election).
Also, a panel of 12 Nobel Prize winners wrote a 10 page essay to Mr. Bush stating that if he does not change his energy policies, the ENTIRE ENVIRONMENT would be obliterated in ten years. Now I don't care WHAT your religion or political tendencies are... With no environment, we all die.
Yes, I saw all this on CNBC. No, I'm not lying about any of it.
Anyway, bottom line? America... IS... FUCKED.
Also a week ago bin Laden claimed that he DID in fact order the 9/11 attacks, and that he wanted Kerry to win so America would become "less evil." He said if Bush won, that the Arab nations would be more pissed than EVER that the greedy American citizens would allow the Bush dictatorial regime to continue (although I congratulate Mr. Bush on winning his first Presidential election).
Also, a panel of 12 Nobel Prize winners wrote a 10 page essay to Mr. Bush stating that if he does not change his energy policies, the ENTIRE ENVIRONMENT would be obliterated in ten years. Now I don't care WHAT your religion or political tendencies are... With no environment, we all die.
Yes, I saw all this on CNBC. No, I'm not lying about any of it.
Anyway, bottom line? America... IS... FUCKED.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
JFK04
Monday, November 01, 2004
*Sigh*
See? This is what I'm talking about. My blogging is apparently a continual source of conflict. Oh well, screw it. I'm not gonna go run and hide this time - I'm just gonna face it head-on.
Laura, I just have a few things to say, then I'll walk out of your and Jon's lives if that is what you prefer. I don't feel the need to drag anyone else into this fight. There is no reason to do so. They are not responsible for this.
1. Please do not attack me behind my back. If you're gonna rant about me, do it to my face. I know I've done this as well, but I realize now that it is wrong. I thought at least you and I could still be friends, but apparently you'd rather go trash me behind my back than confronting me.
2. Please do not accuse me of not having a future or not being intelligent. You don't even know me that well, how can you make that claim? Maybe I have a worse-than-shitty job now, but I am determined to one day change that. My plan right now includes graduate school and I hope to become a PhD in Physics one day. I have always said I was stupid and I do have a low view of myself, but that it starting to change.
3. Please do not take one sentence I said in passing and blow it out of proportion. I've made that mistake as well, and it hurts more people than it helps.
4. I have also had a battle with depression. I know it is hard, and I tried to be there for you more than once. Apparently this is still viewed as me not caring even though I did. Hell, this whole situation started because I was accused of not calling someone to get you help even though I tried to help you myself. I don't know why I try to help people anymore if they just later accuse me of not caring.
5. I hope you are happy. Really I do. I obviously still care on some level or else none of this would be affecting me, right? Anyway, good luck with your lives. It is unfortunate that things between myself and you guys have ended up this way, but perhaps it is for the best... I was apparently not a good friend in the first place.
6. I am sorry that you feel I have wasted 4 years of Jon's life and dragged him down. If I truly was as useless as you say, then it is too bad he had to spend all that time with me. I was told I was like a brother, but apparently I was not. I am hurt by that, but I will move on. I tried to be there for a long time but I guess I couldn't help. I do feel bad about the fact that my best efforts were not enough.
7. I am somewhat hurt, as is Troy (you can even ask him), that Jon didn't tell me about the engagement himself. Perhaps he was smart not to do so because I don't know how I'd react, I don't know. I found out from Kelli, and upon Jason asking me why I was not at the engagement party, I merely had to tell him I was never told about it. That's fine, I suppose, but Troy was quite upset that Jon did not tell him. Perhaps that friendship can still be salvaged.
Okay, that's all I have to say.
Oh, and to explain myself to Paul... There's a lot going on in the situation that you are not involved in, so it easier for you to be happy about this whole thing than it is for me. I would like to be happy about it but I am apparently by nature a selfish jerk. I'm sorry you have to bear witness to this.
Laura, I just have a few things to say, then I'll walk out of your and Jon's lives if that is what you prefer. I don't feel the need to drag anyone else into this fight. There is no reason to do so. They are not responsible for this.
1. Please do not attack me behind my back. If you're gonna rant about me, do it to my face. I know I've done this as well, but I realize now that it is wrong. I thought at least you and I could still be friends, but apparently you'd rather go trash me behind my back than confronting me.
2. Please do not accuse me of not having a future or not being intelligent. You don't even know me that well, how can you make that claim? Maybe I have a worse-than-shitty job now, but I am determined to one day change that. My plan right now includes graduate school and I hope to become a PhD in Physics one day. I have always said I was stupid and I do have a low view of myself, but that it starting to change.
3. Please do not take one sentence I said in passing and blow it out of proportion. I've made that mistake as well, and it hurts more people than it helps.
4. I have also had a battle with depression. I know it is hard, and I tried to be there for you more than once. Apparently this is still viewed as me not caring even though I did. Hell, this whole situation started because I was accused of not calling someone to get you help even though I tried to help you myself. I don't know why I try to help people anymore if they just later accuse me of not caring.
5. I hope you are happy. Really I do. I obviously still care on some level or else none of this would be affecting me, right? Anyway, good luck with your lives. It is unfortunate that things between myself and you guys have ended up this way, but perhaps it is for the best... I was apparently not a good friend in the first place.
6. I am sorry that you feel I have wasted 4 years of Jon's life and dragged him down. If I truly was as useless as you say, then it is too bad he had to spend all that time with me. I was told I was like a brother, but apparently I was not. I am hurt by that, but I will move on. I tried to be there for a long time but I guess I couldn't help. I do feel bad about the fact that my best efforts were not enough.
7. I am somewhat hurt, as is Troy (you can even ask him), that Jon didn't tell me about the engagement himself. Perhaps he was smart not to do so because I don't know how I'd react, I don't know. I found out from Kelli, and upon Jason asking me why I was not at the engagement party, I merely had to tell him I was never told about it. That's fine, I suppose, but Troy was quite upset that Jon did not tell him. Perhaps that friendship can still be salvaged.
Okay, that's all I have to say.
Oh, and to explain myself to Paul... There's a lot going on in the situation that you are not involved in, so it easier for you to be happy about this whole thing than it is for me. I would like to be happy about it but I am apparently by nature a selfish jerk. I'm sorry you have to bear witness to this.
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